There are some moments in a girls life she will never forget. When she gets her first paycheck, gets her heart broken for the first time, gets her passport stamped for the first time, buys her first bra, gets kissed for the first time, reads her first Nancy Drew book, etc..
One of those special moments for me was my first taxi ride into New York City when I first moved across the country for my first full time job out of college.
It was very much a scene as dramatic as those you’ve seen in the movies: The young girl with an empty wallet, but full of hope and excitement. Her yellow taxi window rolled down feeling the warm summer night breeze, inhaling the musty aroma that NYC is notorious for, completely mesmerized by the way the city lights, the silver moon, and the giant skyscrapers paint such a portrait of possibility that you can’t find in any of the city’s many iconic museums.
I remember feeling so small yet so damn significant. This city was my new playground. I was no longer sitting on my bed watching these movies from afar (How to be Single, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, I Feel Pretty, Devil Wears Prada, Moonstruck, etc..) – I was suddenly cast as the main actress in my own film, and I was determined to make it a good one.
And indeed it was. From landing in JFK airport with nothing but two luggages and a job offer in hand to saying my last goodbyes to my small studio on York & 81st that I lived in for two years… it was the time in between that transformed into the rose that grew from concrete.
The city was my greatest muse: After an exhausting day at work Hope is found in the sky when you gaze up at the Empire State, Love is the old couple sitting in comfortable silence on a bench in Central Park, Beauty is in the ceiling details at the Frick museum, Ambition is found when you exit the Subway into a sea of suits and laptop bags on a typical weekday morning, Joy is a Sunday stroll through the UWS breathing in the crisp October air while admiring how well the brownstone buildings and orange tree foliage complement each other. Determination is walking to Duane Reade in the midst of a blinding snowstorm.
And did I mention the city’s unbeatable energy! Somehow going from a full day at work, to a mixer, to a date, to book club, to the gym is just DOABLE- Do not ask me how. The FOMO is just so real there because you never know what to expect. A simple dinner with your bestie at your local spot down the street can turn into two new friends and a taxi ride home at 4am on a Monday night.. This may or may not have happened to me, but I choose to plead the fifth.
I don’t regret any of my experiences- The good decisions. The bad decisions. The risks I took. The late nights. The one too many happy hour drinks. The weekend Megabus trips. The early mornings. The amount of Levain cookies and Prince St Pizza consumed. The dollars I unwisely spent (well maybe a little regret on that last one..)
My experience in NYC was much like one of being in love. A crazy rollercoaster ride: One day you think you’ll stay in NYC forever, and the next day you’re fighting the urge to book the next flight back to Cali!
I would not feel right if I wasn’t completely transparent in this post. I didn’t always go into work with the confidence of Samantha Jones nor was everyday a fairytale carriage horse ride through Central Park. I spent many days feeling very alone and just way in over my head.
For the girl whose just moved to any city (esp. one as crazy as NYC) I am writing this post to tell you these fluctuating emotions are normal!
As with anything new- there is going to be stress, anxiety, a lot of discomfort. Take these as signs that you are on the right track:
“Life begins outside of your comfort zone”
n
Cheers to you for being brave and bold enough to say yes to a life chapter of adventure.
One word I remember God continually speaking to me during this season of transition was from Hosea:
“Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her”- Hosea 2:14
I believe God took me away from my life of comfort in LA, and into the concrete jungle ‘wilderness’ of NYC in order for me to draw closer to Him.
If God leads you to a similar season of life- I want to share some lessons that I wish someone would’ve told the 22-year-old-me on that unforgettable summer night taxi ride into the city for the first time:
- DON’T LIVE BEYOND YOUR MEANS
This one needs a to be a blog post on its own. When I got my first “big girl” check I wasn’t used to having that many numbers in my bank account so naturally I became excited and blew through it. I wish I could say I learned after my first check, but this series repeated itself a few times until I took a look at my credit card statement and realized I needed to calm down. If I could go back I would’ve taken a financial literacy course before I did anything with my first check. A good resource for getting more financially aware is @SeededChia on IG. A quick Pinterest/Google search will go a long way here too.
2. The first ~6 months are going to be rough
You are going to feel alone. You are going to feel out of place. Take this as a challenge for you to learn to adapt to your new environment. Go at your own pace, and be gentle with yourself. Don’t compare yourself to your friends who are moving to new cities too and #Thriving #livingtheirbestlives- chances are they are feeling alone too, but you of course you won’t see that on IG. If I could go back I would reward myself more for the small victories along the way.
3. Rent an Airbnb for the first month until you decide what works for you
When I moved to NYC I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to live alone in a studio or if I wanted to have roommates. After hearing a few NYC roommate horror stories I didn’t want to risk being overwhelmed with potential roomie drama while adjusting to the city and my new job so I opted with the studio. Many times I wish I would’ve had roommates, but you have to find what works for you. That is why Airbnb is a good option for you to have a place upon arrival until you can get your feet grounded (i.e) what boroughs you like and also it gives you the chance to meet your potential roomies in person before signing a long term lease.
4. BE YOURSELF
The city is so big, and people are so caught up in their own lives that no one cares all that much about yours. It sounds mean, but it’s true. I once read in a book that I can’t remember the name of right now, but it said something like, “Why join the puddle when you are the moon reflecting on it?” I am pretty sure it was written a lot more poetically than that, but you get the point.. Be your authentic self- and your presence will invite others to feel vulnerable enough to be their authentic selves with you!
5. Invest in a good black and beige winter coat
Speaks for itself. You can thank me later.
6. Have a balanced Yes: No Ratio
There are going to be lots of events that come your way make sure you are saying “yes” and not succumbing to weekend Netflix and Seamless binges, but also take some weekend time to chill and indulge in those much needed “me” days too.. everything in moderation.
7. Stay away from Starbucks
As much as I am an adventurer I will admit my typical weekend mornings would start out with a tall Pike from the Starbucks across the street from my home. It was only when I was moving that I started venturing to the little coffee shops tucked away in between the avenues and discovered what I had been missing all along- the smooth jazz, the smile and warm welcomes of the local coffee shop owners, and of course the deliciously brewed coffee that didn’t come with a generic green mermaid lady on the cup.
8. Get to know your Neighborhood
Similar to Point #7- get to know your neighborhood! The delis, the best spot for a slice, the wine bars, the restaurants. You will feel more connected to the borough you call home, and if you’re lucky maybe the restaurant workers/owners will begin to know you by name.
9. Carry your business cards
Because you just never know! One time me and my friend were in a shared uber, and she casually mentioned how she can’t wait to be a famous stylist, and the guy we were pooling with turns to us and goes, “Who said that?” Turns out he himself was a well known stylist, and by the end of our ride she had booked a job with him.
10. Avoid Times Square like the Plague
Don’t eat there, don’t live there, and don’t go there esp. on the weekends. For me, it was a bucket list item that would only get checked once. Some friends of mine love it, but to each his own.
11. Get to know the City by getting Lost in it.
My favorite past time in NYC was going on strolls through the different neighborhoods. Especially on a sunny day or warm evening-I would note the charming &/or lively restaurants, galleries, parks I walked past and vow to go there with the next friend who visited.
12. Go Find Friends website
This is a site where I met a handful of cool new friends. I had great and not so great experiences with it, but I encourage people who are new and have no network to try it because what do you have to lose? Of course, be smart and meet in public places.
13. Life 360
I downloaded the Life 360 app with a friend of mine so we could keep tabs on each other. We both live similar lifestyles of travel and shenanigans so it was a good way to go about it more responsibly.
14. CitiMapper
Total game changer. Can’t recommend it enough! It will help you navigate the city like a boss- easy to read, use, and works wonders!
15. Learn to be your own best company
The city is full of wanderers. It’s not at all odd to have a drink, meal, or watch a movie on your own. Embrace it. Don’t avoid going to places because no one is down to go with you. Go on your own if it feels right.
16. Date for the Experience
I tried the dating apps and soon learned that meeting people organically worked better for me, but that’s not to say I regret the people I met on those dates I did go on. Take the experiences for what they are. Men in NYC are a whole different story in itself.. I will save that for a different blog post.
17. Be consistent with at least one thing
Life in the city is so fluid that it helped me to be committed to a handful of things. For me it was my Monday night prayer meetings, Sunday service at Hillsong, volunteering once a month, but everyone has their own thing. There are a ton of options: Rotaract Club, sports clubs, fitness classes, book clubs, etc. In a city as unpredictable as NYC it’s always comforting to have something that is constant. These activities are also a great way to find community and friendship with like-minded individuals. I met a few of my closest friends through these commitments.
18. Go without your headphones
I know it’s hard when all you want to do is block out the horns and ambulance sirens. But strolling the streets without headphones gives the city a bit more flavor.
19. Get a purse that can fit a pair of extra shoes
Sometimes I went out in heels while using public transportation so it worked well for me to have a bag just large enough to hold my extra shoes, but not too large as to be a burden throughout the night.
20. Carry a Portable charger in your purse
This would’ve helped me the night my cell phone decided to die when I was deep into the unfamiliar city of Bushwick, Brooklyn and hence had no way of navigating back home. Forever thankful for the nice folks at the cafe I stopped in who lent me their charger 🙂
21. Watch Amazon Prime Documentary on NYC before moving
It will give you a good basic knowledge on how NYC was founded and its significance. It will inspire you to dream like Alexander Hamilton, Grace Kelley, and the rest of the legends who made a name for themselves in the Big Apple all while helping you appreciate the opportunity God has given you to live in such an iconic city.
Recommended Documentary on Amazon Prime: American Experience: New York Season 1
22. Carry an umbrella everywhere
NYC is known for having all the seasons in one day. It will be sunny when you leave your studio and you will come back drenched from humid rain. Take an umbrella because you never just know..
I hope this was helpful! I would love to hear your experience living in NYC or feelings about moving there! Comment below 🙂
XX,
Grace
I love this and everything is SO spot on!!! Watching American Experience now ~~~
<3 <3