I am still trying to find the right word (both in Spanish and English) to describe the blend of excitement, anticipation, and nervousness that I felt just before boarding my flight to Madrid.
I remember thinking.. the minute I step foot in Espana I can be any person I want.
The flight flew by while I read through various self help titles and scribbled down my thoughts and goals for the trip in my journal: I was going to teach, become fluent in Castellano spanish, get an internship, form friendships, not gain 100 lbs, be the ‘yes’ girl, join Madrid’s Rotaract club, etc..
10 hours later, I found myself in Madrid’s airport accompanied by just two luggages and an open mind..
Madrid, I have arrived.
One week later, I find myself sitting here in my Air-Bnb finally making some time to catch my breath!
This week I begin to let the fresh ink bleed through the pages as I write a new life chapter in this beautifully intoxicating city.. Crunching past the tangerine colored autumn leaves that lay sprinkled along the zig zagged streets, peeking into the small hole-in-the-wall ancient cafeterias, gazing up at the ancient French/Austrian inspired buildings, smiling at the warm and helpful Madrilenos, inhaling the delicious pan dulce aroma coming from a panaderia on the corner.. I am completely smitten and beyond blessed to have the chance to call this place ‘home’.
As beautiful a picture I have painted Madrid to be…anyone who has ever moved/settled into a new ‘home’ before knows it’s no vacation. It can be overwhelming trying to manage all the little tasks that come with moving on top of trying to settle into your new routine/environment/circumstances.
Can I be honest here?
As I try to maintain my footing in this whirlwind of adjustment it’s been SO hard to keep God as my main priority.
How could I possibly make time for God in between moving between three air-bnbs, searching for a new permanent place, adjusting to the time/culture differences, starting my first week of teaching classes, getting my visa/bank account/data card set-up, exercising to keep off the tapas/vino kilos, making new friends, touring the city with my aunt and cousin who came to visit me <3, and doing a weekend trip all in less than 8 days!??
Making time for my God who knocks peacefully at my door when I have LIFE pounding on the window next to it everyday with some new distraction, feeling, crisis, etc. has not been easy.
“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me”- Revelation 3:20
I went a few days this week tangled up in the rat race, trying to do it on my own: Running here there and everywhere in between, reading my self-help books in the metro/bus rides, checking off one thing just to add another to my checklist, etc.. but I didn’t feel any peace.
Where had my joy gone?
It was only a few days ago I realized I was trying to go through this new season alone.
It was then that I made the decision to humble myself and put down my checklist, the google maps, the Madrid tour guide book, the self-help book titles, the glass of vino… and simply bow down my head in prayer.
My desires, take them to Him.
My worries, take them to Him.
My thoughts/feelings, take them to Him.
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7
And I can honestly say putting God as a priority (Above morning runs, whatsapp texts/calls, siestas, etc.) has made all the difference- I am still a hot mess, but a JOYFUL, CONTENT, PEACEFUL one 😉
I am still exploring this beautiful city, making new friends, handling my living situation, and extinguishing all the little fires that arise here and there.. but I am doing so with God at the forefront. I am in constant dialogue with him throughout my day and by doing this I feel His favor, His blessings, His counsel, His peace.. and just like that the weight is lifted off my shoulders and into God’s hands.
Because I trust He knows what’s best and wants what’s best for me.
“Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous be shaken”- Psalm 55:22
I want God to be my life compass. Not only in this chapter, season, situation, circumstance- But for a lifetime. My hope is for my life to be a masterpiece of what life looks like when we hand over the paint brush to God- with obedience and love.
So in the case that I am not the only one living a beautifully chaotic life- I have noted a few resources below that have helped me to keep God as my priority this past week, I my hope they will benefit you just the same:
1. Reading the Bible
I can’t stress enough how vital this has been for me. It’s not the easiest, but I can assure you it feels much better to marinate my mind, body, and spirit in the truth spoken to me in the Bible than to victimizing thoughts, feelings, circumstances, etc that come my way.
“The Word is the truth and when we follow it we are made free”- John 8:32
Your joy, confidence, guidance, counsel, wisdom, etc. are all written in the Bible. No other book written by man can ever even come close to The Bible’s divine power and peace.
For me, it’s difficult to know where to turn to or look in the bible as I am still a baby in Christ, but it’s helped me to have a daily devotional.
These devotionals are often short, but you can dig deeper into the text surrounding the daily verse(s) it if you have the time:
-Joyce Meyer Daily Devotion found here
-The Daily Light (morning and evening devotional for purchase here
2. Prayer
Dear God, thank you for where I am in life today. For keeping me safe, providing for me, keeping me healthy and able- for making my arms, legs, etc.. strong enough to go about my days. I pray that you go with me throughout my day today- instilling within me a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind. I pray that you continue to make me more like you everyday, and chisel away at anything that is not from you. I pray that I keep my focus on you and your image of me- beautiful, confident, and wonderfully made. Help me to navigate through my day in your image. Continue to remind me of my duty- to be a light to others and an example of a person whose life is guided by you and the truth you speak to us in the Bible. Keep my family and friends safe and at peace. Thank you Father God, amen.
3. Get a good devotional
I do my best to start my mornings with a devotional and prayer. I find spending time in God’s presence in the morning helps me fill up my spirit so I can pour out to others during the day ahead. A few of my favorites are: Jesus Calling, First 5 App, and The Daily Bread
4. Sermons about keeping God at the center of your universe:
- Brian Houston- Im Fighting Back Sermon found here
From my heart to yours,
Grace
