A memoir: written by me in 2014..
“Grace, Blaire, Cam? The panel is ready”. Instantly, I could feel my palms starting to
sweat and my knees become like magnets stuck to the chair. In that moment, I had three
options: Put my head down and run out the closest exit door, pretend my name was not
Grace, and that I was a lost freshman in the wrong room, or go to the interview. Deciding
with the third option, I reluctantly followed the curly haired blonde girl to the interview
room. The short walk down the hallway to the panelists felt like an eternity. In that time, I
tried to pull my nervous-wreck-of a self together. I asked myself: Why am I so nervous? I
already know the artificial questions they will ask: Tell us about yourself. What are your
weaknesses? That is would be my cue to tell them my cookie cutter “About me” and that
my only weakness is that I am a perfectionist. As I imagined, we were asked the typical
interview questions. Next, we were questioned on our knowledge of the position we were
applying for. “What do you know about Associated Students?” Asked the Chief of Staff
Jenna Heath. Blaire, the peppy blonde hair blue-eyed girl with the bright pink shirt on
answered the question with such confidence that she might as well have been reading
straight off of the Associated Students Website. I couldn’t even be upset. I should’ve
expected my competition to bring their A-game. After all, we were interviewing for the
most competitive position in Associated Students for freshman. The opportunity to
shadow the Executive Officers was once in a lifetime and the 150+ freshman that applied
all knew this. “I have been to this university for less than a week and have this amazing
opportunity, and here I am blowing it”, I said to myself. The interview would be over
soon, and my time to shine was running out. I had said nothing that made me stand out
from Blaire and Cam. Tuning back into the interview, I heard Tom Rivera, Associate VP
of External Affairs ask, “If you could go to dinner with one person who would it be?
Blaire, you can answer this question first”. In my head, I starting running through the list
of U.S. Presidents, Forbes 100, Authors on Oprah’s booklist…”Wait! That’s it! Oprah! I
got this!”, I said to myself. As long as Blaire does not choose…“Well, if I could go to
dinner with anyone it would be Oprah”, said Blaire. My face dropped. Damn. In that
moment I envisioned the “We’re sorry to inform you” email that would surely be in my
inbox in no time. “Ok, Grace, who would you choose?”, asked Tom. I will never know
what came over me, all I am certain of is that I experienced what Lindsay Lohan
describes as “Word Vomit” in her hit movie Mean Girls. Looking at the panelists, I
confidently uttered the words, “my Grandma”. Then, quickly correcting myself I said,
“My Abuela”.
This was the first time I had spoken of my Abuela to anyone in years, let alone a room
full of strangers. The nerves left me, but now I felt like someone stuffed a pair of socks in
my throat. I paused to stop myself from tearing up. In complete confidence, I repeated,
“My Abuela”.
I would go to dinner with her, and thank her for molding me into the woman I have
become. Thank her for teaching me so many unspoken life lessons that I will never have
the chance to tell her since she passed before I was mature enough to realize all she did
for me.
Lesson 1: Never be ashamed of your roots.
In fourth grade, I didn’t invite my Abuela to our annual winter concert we put on for our
grandparents because I was embarrassed of her showing up in her traditional headscarf
and telling others in Broken English that she was my grandmother.
Lesson 2: In a moment, everything can change.
I remember my mother telling me she was disappointed that I did not invite my
grandmother to the concert, and all I did was shrug and say I will do it next year. Little
did I know, I would not get that chance to have another year with my Abuela.
Lesson 3: Make mistakes while you’re young.
I remember the first time I was allowed to help prepare our family’s annual Christmas
tamales. To finally be able to sit at the table with the older women and be a part of all of
the “chisme” was a huge deal for me as a young girl. My duty in the assembly line was to
put the chili sauce on top of the tamales right before they got wrapped and sent into the
oven.
That was the first and only year there were unwrapped tamales by the end of the night at
our annual Christmas fiesta. I was so excited to be a part of the process that I didn’t
realize I was drowning the tamales in chile sauce. When they came out of the oven they
were unbearable to eat unless you had a box of Kleenex to wipe your runny nose due to
the high levels of spiciness.
Lesson 4: Don’t downgrade your dream to match your reality, upgrade your faith to
match your destiny.
Knowledge is power is the lesson I mostly learned from on my abuela’s influence. With
my mom at school getting her masters and my dad working two jobs to make ends meet, I
found my abuela to be my guardian during my childhood years. My grandmother grew up
with little to nothing, and still found a way to travel to Israel, take college level classes to
learn more, and raise a family of five children on her own. Every time I was with her, she
did her best to teach me some sort of skill. One of my fondest memories is of us sitting on
the kitchen floor during a hot day, while she taught me how to play “Jacks”. Little did I
know we were teaching each other. She was polishing up her English while I was starting
to pick up Spanish. Even at a young age, she introduced me to her favorite novel, “The
Diary of Anne Frank”. Although I did not read the novel until after she passed, her
introducing me to books at an early age is part of the reason why I love to read now.
Lesson 5: Love surpasses all knowledge.
My Abuela and I had a unique love for each other that surpassed all knowledge and
language barriers. Although my experiences with her are my biggest regret because I
never was able to show her how much I appreciated her, these memories are also my
biggest win because if I did not make mistakes I would never have learned these valuable
life lessons. When I received the email notifying me that out of the 150+ candidates that
applied for the FLEX position I interviewed for; I looked up and smiled. I no longer have
regrets because I know my grandmother heard everything I needed to tell her from
heaven up above.
